Cruise Takes A Bruise

Viacom gave Tom Cruise the bruise of his career or, more exactly, its cantankerous chairman, Sumner Redstone, did, for behavior unbecoming an employee of the entertainment giant, saying Cruises shenanigans are not acceptable to Paramount.

Redstones punch to the career launched an entire boxing match of bruising comments.

Mr. Cruises attorney shot back in un-lawyerly fashion, calling his comments disgusting and saying hes lost it completely or hes been given breathtakingly bad advice.

And Creative Artists Agency, which reps Cruise, indicated it might not do more business with Paramount if Redstone was going to continue directing the show from his celestial perch. "Paramount has no credibility right now, the agencys president said, and, as any good politico would, immediately voiced an implied plea for Viacom to get its act together so the two megabuck makers could continue their prosperous co-adventure, saying, It is not clear who is running the studio and who is making the decisions.

Redstone, energized by the effect of his power punching, swung out with, It is about time that the industry started dealing with these stars in a different manner and let them know that they are not going to get big money and act in a way that is inappropriate and embarrasses the studios.

Then he even dared brag about a call complimenting his decisiveness, saying that he had behaved like Samuel Goldman, the famed bullying producer of yore.

While Cruise, the manic scientologist, is culpable for leading a life according to the usual sort of celebrity ignorance, Redstones self-flattering association with Goldwin reminds us a story about a duo of other famed producers gone by, Larry and Harry Warner, that might have some applicability.

The old saw goes, a person calls Warner Brothers and asks, Is Larry there?

The operator replies, No.

Is Harry there? the caller inquires.

No, the operator intones.

The person gives up and decides to call back the next day. Hes told the same thing.

Wait a minute, he says. Every time I call, you tell me Larry is out of town and Harry is tied up? Whats going on?

Oh, the operator replies, every time Larry goes out of town we tie Harry up.

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs." Ophelie Blog19240
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